• ~Remember me day~

    So, today means 2 different things.
    A)Poppy day, Remembrance day, the day people gave their lives for us
    B) 11:11; the meaning that someone is thinking of you

    So technically this does work, people who have lost loved ones are thinking of the dead, perhaps the dead is thinking about them?
    11:11, someone is thinking of you, i never really understood that just to be 100% honest.
    I know im thinking of him, and i know thinking of him is useless, becuase thinking is not an action, it wont really get me anywhere, for me to get you to know i am interested, i should call you, text you and tell you i want to see you.
    But, that's not realllly appropriate now isit, i know you have many reasons
    forcing oneself upon another, will be seen as cheap, im sorry that's not my style, i'm not 50 and "ditched", im not yet desperate, haha.
    but to be honest, if ever i got another chance, i would honestly treasure like i should have the first day i had you...well, kind of XD

    fact is, we both have our reasons for why i will not get a second chance, and best that i didn't. but sometimes you cant resist really can you, if you miss someone you miss someone...i was silly , and only throught making mistakes will i learn, and only this way do things have more meaning to me, they stick with me.

    It's sweet to think everyone is either in love, is in unrequited love, or love sick.
    It's sweet becuase it means you've had a something special, or still do, to me, when i think back, now all i see is sweet memories, and it makes me smile, i wont cry over the past becuase there's too many sweet things tocry over. *ahem hint hint you love sick girls :)*

    So, i've been thinking of you today, i wonder who you have been thinking of? her perhaps?
    I hope she treats you well so you are thinking of her and her only tonight :)

    and perhaps, someone is thinking of me tonight <3
    Remember me day
     

  • I never really knew you...

    It's been a year since things began to fade, so much has happened before and after, and so many lessons i've had to learn the hard way.
    There is no way to defend myself for what i once did to someone, i ignored them and chucked money in their face and told them to go home, even when they spent time and effort into coming to see me, it was brave and toughtful, but the timing was wrong, i was ill and there was no way i could rewind my feelings. 
    I learned that once someone has lost feelings, trying to get them back is like trying to stick a smashed crystal ornament back together, there will be tiny shards missing that the human eye cannot see, you cannot find it, you just know it's not the same as before.
    I understand
    I'm not someone who is not understanding, and for the people who i wish happiness upon, even if i know you are in the wrong, i will still look for excuses to defend you, but what's the point?
    I get the impression you where ashamed to let me know the real you becuase i know your background and mine is complete opposite, i have alot where as you work for alot of what you have, im quite spoilt where as you are not and im babied, where you ?
    But you never really knew me either, i wont be sad with someone who has a different background, what makes me sad is if you don't try to be better in life, you did fuck a few things up, but you worked hard to make it up, did you now know how much i respected you for working, helping me with my work and being bothered ,...for the while i was with you.
    I feel bad for you sometimes becuase to be with me you put on a fake face, and you became someone you where not, i believe if you never did all that, i wouldn't have been sad when you stopped.
    No one understands the reason why i become sad is not becuase i have high standards, but becuase you be fake to me.
    you where tired being someone you where not, and you tried to hide yourself from me...the more apart we became, i think is when i began to understand you more,
    Over this year, you have been unjust to me, but i still stuck up for you in my own mind, because i've done what you did to me before and i understand why someone would do it, it's not particularly nice tho,
    i thought i was begining to understand you, only yesterday did i realised, no.
    One thing i will not really know, many people have given different reasons to why this might happen, i find it weird, inexplicable and somewhat immature, like you cannot face your past and you are still a little boy, you cannot think like a man, yet you are the age of one,
    Chi Ming Lee,
    what possess you to not even be civilised to just say a simple fake "hi" like my knowledge of your capability to be fake allows you to
    do so.
    What possed you to actually Run, like 100m sprint, not like your good at sport anyway.
    What possed you to dehumanatize someone's feelings and treat them like the wind, like how you hate the wind and it comes and goes, you'd rather it just never passed you.
    I generally want to know you are doing fine, i still care for people, everyone thinks im stupid becuase some people don't deserve care, im more shocked than sad. Did you think i was going to jump on you, bite a chunk of your arm, poke your eyeballs out, kick you to the floor, stomp on your balls , spit on your face then walk away ?( tho the more i say, the more i can visualise this happening )
    You have truely missunderstood me,
    and i really won't ever understand your complicated thinking process...

    how much does someone have to hate another person to run away from them in a busy train station?
    Am i truely that hatable?

    I don't want people to sympathise for me and believe you are a bastard, i just really dont understand this...running away from someone..is very extrmeme.

  • -Can you answer my question?-

    "Why do guys like/stick with bitchy girls?"
    "Why do girls like bad boys?"
    "Why do nice people always come last"
    ...hmm well not sure about the 3rd statement, but i have realised one thing, guys really do like bitchy girls, there seems to be some loving for this bitchy aura that i completely don't understand...
    Gosh, i mean, i've been bitchy in my lifetime before, and...yeah, it seems to be more effective than being just "normal".
    I find it so weird,...she's clearly a player, she's clearly ganna or already is hurting you, she clearly doesn't care...or could care more...so why do you stick with her.
    Girls, i dont understand, he clearly doesn't know how you feel and isn't treating you right, ...why do you stick with him....
    OMDAIZE, if a guy/girl is upsetting you and making you cry, surely if you try to mend things and make things better yet it still doesn't work, you'de let each other go? why force a dead relationship?
    Why do you let someone walk all over you , it's really starting to bug me,more so when someone actually said to me "i don't like girls, i like mean girls" ... LOL ok, *kick in the balls* hows that for mean XD haha.

    Oh why are people so weird... why do you like this "tor tor lai lai" relationship...oh can yu see the big "?" floating above my head.

    why are people such bitches? do you need to be played until you realise how horrible it is to be played?
    Yes,...i think,atleast i can answer one question....

    arh i feel so bad for people, why stick with them when they are being so unjust to you, when i can treat you so much better <3

    ...why am i stressing over things that is nothing to do with me XD aha, whats wrong with meeeee !!!


  • ~"tOo muCh....A"


    Can you pause feelings?
    Can you decide no for now, and suddenly decide you want things to work later in life ?
    How does that work, how does it work for me?
    I dont really understand what inside me triggers these feelings,
    but one things for sure,
    you never know what you have , till you loose it.
    How lucky will i be if i can find it ?

    How lucky will you be if you find it too...
    but i don't think you ever lost anything ...
    so how does this work for you ?



  • ~Someone (Wifey?) KIDNAP ME!! ~

    oh ho ho , yes i had fun in the past 3 days...i guess nothing lasts =w=
    ...im the biggest jynx in the world when it comes to anything technical,
    things that involves electricity hate me...
    so i get home " Enting, i have a job for you " ...
    after alot of bla bla, confused me and frustrated people, then frustrated me and confused people...
    im downloading this Nokia PC SUIT ..
    Nokia softwareupdate ... WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS ...
    why dont you ask me to clean the toilets.. or iron the cloths..whatever ..
    WHAT IS GOING ON !!! i dont understant, i hate thisss !!
    i wnted to come home, read some books, do some work and sleep before 5am >.<
    ahhh hahahaha ,,, i havnt even had time to clean my room =( and i'm doing something i completely dont understand...

    I DONT WANT TO BE HERE... sorting out updates and blablabla
    I HATE COMPUTERSSS...no thats a lie, i hate it when i dont know what to do !!!
    ...i really want TofuTing my cmputer back =( when will she recover from that explosion?
    i need a mouse.. and i need my music

    omg...Nokia, you really made me want to cry...

    CANT WE GO BACK TO THE STONE AGESSS !?!?!?!
    i'd rather run around naked with a sharp twig killing live chickens then doing this...


  • It's better...

    I think i did the right thing, i think it was wrong to start with, i think i shouldn't have played around.

    I didn't expect to get anything i got...and that's why i dont want it, becuase it's what will ruin whats most important for me right now. All i want is a friendly game, nothing serious...Everything you want i cannot give, and everything you are is not what im willing to jeopordise what i want for. I feel bad for being mean, but i don't believe i will be a real bitch without a reason and the smallest things tick me off.

    You Dont Know Me.

    I feel bad everything, i didn't mean for things to get messy but i guess i had a bit too much fun that i forgot what i want and what i dont need. I like to make thing's very clear, and for me is that i am right now a

    "Friends Stictly and ONLY"

    Whatever, i guess thats lie ... maybe if you where a super close friend i can consider..but you're not...maybe if you where 5"11, haha joking. I am truely sorry for being what i call a bitch. Im truely sorry for today...

     

    On a bright note, i know this is better for me, i can concertrate on whats really important to me, this is better for you as you shouldn't let a girl walk all over you.

     

    On a worrying note, i've realised people have been talking roumers about me, i can so imagine what a million people would say, shame on me as i probably have the worst reputation of unintentionnal bitch "player" girl, how does that even work!!! ?

     

    On a depressing note...WHAT IS GOING ON BETWEEN ME AND MY CLOSE FRIENDS....

     

    On a tiffy note.... this has been an interesting note and can you tell i am extremely tired currently ?

    hehe

     

    I did the right thing, right? ...Yes, i made that decision and for once i will stick to it.

     ththcuteemot ththcuteemot

  • Visit melmelmelody's Xanga Site
    • Name: Ting
    • Country: United Kingdom
    • Birthday: 6/10/1990
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 10/22/2007
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